Coming Out Stories

Skye Chadwell 

they/them

So it all started around those ages where boys and girls notice each other. All my guy friends noticed girls, and well, I noticed them instead. I tried to hide it; I was afraid I was a mistake or wrong or broken in some way — I never heard or knew of being gay before this point. Fast forward some years to junior high and high school, and I got called names, was told to kill myself and treated like crap quite often. I would get texts emails and letters and even once someone turned my Facebook page into a giant monument of hatred to me with a list of reasons why I should kill myself. I thought my life was just gonna keep on shattering into pieces. I cried myself to sleep every night hoping I wouldn't wake up, or if I did it would be far away where it couldn't find me, and even became a mean person just so people wouldn't get close enough to hurt me. I tried so hard not to be gay in middle school. I said I thought something was wrong with me and that I was broken. In my freshmen year of high school and the moment I met the right boy I realized we are people, this is normal. After years of harassment and denying I was gay, I came out slowly one friend at a time. When I told my parents, they had already suspected I was and loved me anyway. My friends also loved and accepted me for who I was, and those who didn't ... well, I didn't really have to worry that much because I had a strong support system that kept me together, and now I know how to keep myself together on my own. I wasn't broken, there wasn't something wrong with me, and I was not a mistake. I'm a human being who puts love out into this world, and just because the person who will receive that love and kindness is the same sex doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. Love is what kept me together — love from my friends, love from my family, and love for myself. One day I will give my love to another man with no regrets or fear. Resent me, hate me, fear me, or destroy me, even if someone kills me because of who I love — someday I will die with no regrets. My love — no, all love — will always be stronger than hate, and that is my coming out story.